There is one job that fascinates me more than any other. Mainly because I doubt any person understands how this job comes about.
Some young people dream of becoming police officers, I commend them, but I could see the frustration in them finding themselves in a career that lacks a certain amount of artistry. For the artistic soul cries out for expression even when you are tied to your blue uniform of justice.
Then along comes an opportunity, one that I have followed for a long time with a strange sort of envy, because it is the job that I might consider a dream job.
It is the guy who lays things out.
With every police story in japan there comes one of two things, a picture of the accused, or a picture of the contraband all laid out. This is a common thing, the Police showing their spoils as it demonstrates they have really returned some order to a chaotic society.
For these photographic opportunities one must employ few weapons. Mainly a blue tarp and the deep love of organization. Yes, things that are laid out perfectly are more beautiful as the human eye seeks symmetry.
Let me share with you some examples of the art of laying out contraband from Japan.
Here is the most obvious score, the piles of drugs. While in other countries they stack the drugs so that they seem to aim towards the heavens, in Japan the guy who lays things out makes even rows. He calculates the perfect amount for each rows and lays them tenderly , as they are now his ward.
Do you steal shoes from high schools? Your booty is not disregarded as a lower form of theft. These shoes are treated with the same respect as the highest level drug bust.
When we discuss someone who has impersonated an officer it is often difficult to imagine the effect. The guy who lays things out re-creates the whole experience and demonstrates the thoroughness of the criminal act.
Dozens of thefts from pharmacies? What was stolen from each shop is presented with the care of someone who knows they must shave a thousand times before they really get to the core of any issue.
Perhaps the mother load for any guy who lays things out, the criminal who has stolen items from high school girls. Laid out with the care one would have for the tenderest lover at the tenderest age.
Sorry, that got real gross just now.
Finally, the piece du resistance, the full scene recreation. The crime in question was streaming uncensored girls on webcams, and just the items (the computers in the background) is not enough as your meager imagination could not build up a sense of the reality from just that. No, this guy who lays things out has taken that extra step and created the initial scene where the woman in question is still pretending to be shy about taking off her clothes. Oh, and here the anticipation will last forever.
Thank you, guy who lays things out. I strike forth into the future knowing that this is only the first entry into a thousand more weird crimes you will illustrate in orderly lines.